season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
