Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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