Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
