Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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