also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
