He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
