Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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