I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
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