I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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