Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
3 2 1 whiskey
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
