Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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