Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
