lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
