who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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