Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Someone signed my nipple.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
