whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
