I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
