please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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