i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
