Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize