Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
