ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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