what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
