her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
