i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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