sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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