come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
