Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize