Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
