your room smells of hookers.
And success
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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