all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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