1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
