the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
