I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize