Porn is love you can see.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
