Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my liver is dry heaving
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
