You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
