Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
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True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
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YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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