It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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