if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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