dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
