he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
