At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
