So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize