Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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