the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
