u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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