dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
