just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
