Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
