i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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