Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
