Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
