He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize