ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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