So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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