The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
