Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
